(Little) Batman in Belfast

Image courtesy Robert Benn/Getty Images

My friends and family offered me one resounding piece of advice before I traveled to Ireland: to get lost. I was told to immerse myself, to disconnect from the reality of my home in an effort to fully take advantage of my time abroad. I followed this advice steadfastly for the first two and a half weeks of my trip. I went on long walks, indulged by eating out often and buying myself petty trinkets. In a matter of days I constructed for myself an ideal reality where I could put my phone and laptop away and opt to read peacefully by the Liffey, as if my home in America would greet me warmly when I got back, in the same condition I left it.

Image courtesy Warner Bros.

Friday afternoon I arrived in Belfast. Friday night I attended the 8:05 showing of The Dark Knight Rises. News of the Aurora shootings quietly broke my heart on Saturday morning. A matter of hours before James Holmes opened fire on dozens of innocent people, I sat in my comfortable chair and chomped on overpriced candy. A vicious madman prepared to commit the biggest mass murder in recent US history as I excitedly discussed Anne Hathaway's performance with friends. Before the previews even hit the screen in Aurora, I was lost in deep sleep.

Saturday morning I woke up twice: both from the eight hours of sleep I had gotten the night before and from the coma of my own imagined reality. That morning I stopped living in a dream. I looked out my window at the streets of Belfast with bleak indifference. The spirit of adventure escaped my clutches and I forgot to care about immersing myself in a foreign city. A black, tragic sadness engulfed me and I showed no signs of resistance.

Image courtesy metnews.org

I couldn't look at Belfast on Saturday the same way I had on Friday. Everywhere I looked British flags and Diamond Jubilee banners reminded me that I was thousands of miles away from home, on a luxurious trip to Ireland, completely alienated from the profound suffering of fellow Americans. Shortly after news of the shooting was released, President Obama addressed the public, urging citizens to "come together as one American family." Although I have been fortunate enough to enjoy almost three weeks of blissful travel in Ireland, I eagerly await the day I will go home to my American family.